It’s a fine line…

Yesterday, I felt compelled to share something uplifting about men. Lately, I’ve spoken out often about misogyny, and with good reason. It’s showing up in so many places, in ways that are hard to ignore. Sometimes, it doesn’t even feel like a choice to speak up, it feels necessary.

But I also recognize how difficult that can be for men who genuinely don’t embody misogyny.

One man commented …

Let's make a deal no more feminist or misogynist. Both are horrible.

My reply …

A feminist is someone who believes in and advocates for the equality of the sexes, particularly focusing on dismantling the social, cultural, political, and economic disadvantages historically and currently faced by women.

• Feminists support equal rights, opportunities, and respect for all genders.

• Feminism doesn’t mean hating men or wanting women to dominate men, that’s a common misconception.

• In fact, many feminists believe that rigid gender roles harm everyone, including men.

A misogynist is someone who harbors dislike, contempt, or prejudice against women.

• Misogyny can show up in overt ways , like violence or blatant discrimination, or in more subtle patterns, like dismissing women’s opinions, sexualizing or demeaning them, or assuming women are less capable or less valuable.

• Some people may be misogynistic without even realizing it, simply by upholding harmful gender norms or double standards.

If you look at the meaning of both it would be remiss of me to say that I would not defend women against misogyny.

I am sure that there are feminists that are fanatical, but I can’t commit to not advocating in necessary situations.

I can commit to not being fanatical and stepping outside the true bounds of feminism 😊

That breakdown of the difference between feminism and misogyny for me was really helpful. Simply put feminism is about supporting women. Misogyny is about harming them. So in good conscience I couldn’t agree that feminism is horrible. But I do understand the type of woman he was referring to and I too would agree their approach is horrible.

I can’t/won’t sit by and stay silent when I see harm being done, but I also don’t want to create more division. Speaking up matters to me, especially when it comes to calling out misogyny (well any injustice really). But I want to do it in a way that doesn’t shut men out, especially those who are open-hearted and self-aware. It’s fine line sometimes, balancing the need to speak truth with the desire to build bridges and not walls.