You can’t take what is truly mine…

A new relationship should be exciting. Yet we often spend it's beginning comparing it to our last. Finding our bearings can be unnerving, especially if you have had a few failed relationships. Sometimes the thought of sharing yourself, your story, can feel like a chore. You think, can I really do all this again.

I remember wondering when my current relationship began if I had anything to bring to the table. I felt like had I given my everything to my last relationship.

I was open with my thoughts, telling my partner that I had shared all my favourite things with my last partner and I felt to share them with him would be like recycling them. He asked why he should miss out on all those parts of me just because someone else had seen them. Why could we not make new memories with those things, together, different memories.

And we did just that, everything just became ours, and we built a new story, new memories, a history.

I don't suggest that you do this with things that might trigger traumatic experiences, but there are many things from past relationships that are salvageable. They shouldn't become taboo, just because that chapter is done. They just need a make over, a refresh.

One particular thing that I never wanted to become tainted was https://youtu.be/j4f4-9osaegIcame

I came across it about 8 years ago and it really changed the way I felt about love. I wanted someone to look at me the way Ulay looked at Marina. What a love story. A failed love story, but still, what a story.

I didn't want to not be able to share that with someone else because I had shared it on an intimate level in a prior relationship. I want everyone to be able to aspire to a Ulay type of love.

So I just decided that everything remains mine. Collectively it is what makes me, me. Without my little cache of awe inspiring, goose bump giving keepsakes I lack substance. So break my heart if you will, but you can't have what is intrinsically mine.