Narcissism…

Years ago, when I first started reading about narcissistic abuse, I didn’t like what I found.

I joined support groups and read article after article, convinced my relationship would somehow be the exception. I could see pieces of my own story in what people were saying, but I still believed that with enough patience, understanding and love, things would get better.

I was living in the land of potential.

What I eventually came to understand was that I wasn’t looking for answers. I was looking for a miracle.

The hardest part wasn’t accepting who he was. It was accepting what the relationship had done to me.

For a long time, I thought I was trying to save someone else. Looking back now, I can see that I was the one who needed saving.

The turning point wasn’t learning about narcissism. It was learning about trauma bonds, codependency, and all the reasons I had tolerated things I should never have tolerated.

That’s when the focus shifted.

It stopped being about him and started being about me.

My healing, my patterns, my boundaries and my recovery.

When I started my page, it was mostly a place to vent. What I discovered was that so many other people were walking the same road.

In the end, it wasn’t the advice that helped me most. It was the realisation that I wasn’t crazy, I wasn’t alone, and other people understood exactly what I was going through.

Sometimes that’s all it takes to start opening your eyes and beginning your journey.

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This is a condensed version of a blog I wrote a few years ago.

Looking back, not much has changed in how I feel about it. If anything, time has softened some of my edges while reinforcing the lessons.