It’s cliche, but let it go…

I wrote this blog a few days ago and never got around to publishing it. That happens often, half written blogs everywhere.  But they probably get posted when they are meant to.

This blog kinda conflicts the last one I wrote, what can I say, I’m a no rhyme or reason kinda gal. But in my defence this one is focusing more on our internal struggles, the ones that we have allowed to shape us. The last  blog speaks more to the issues arounds us that we can’t really just move past as they are out of our control.

Often when writing a blog, for me it stirs up opposing feelings, as if I play devils advocate with myself. It's a lil like when I'm reading peoples comments and I like a view point, and the very next comment is pretty much the opposite, but presented in a way that makes

it just as valid, so I like it as well. It's not that I can't pick a side, I just saw another aspect. It's not a bad thing to be open to new ways of thinking. It just means that every now and then you might contradict yourself, or even come to a complete new way of thinking. I don't see it as jumping ship, more being open to new perspectives, from others and yourself. Hopefully, that made sense, anyways I've digressed - to the blog.

So I found myself thinking about all the things that happened years ago, and the fact that I'm still thinking about them. Surely eventually we have to just let go of the expectations that we had/have for ourselves - and others.

We get so caught up in what we think our life and relationships should be that we don’t really fully live the life we have.

So many of our precious years spent waiting for someone to be who you need them to be, or for a certain situation or set of circumstances to be just right before we feel we can be fulfilled.

And when we finally realise that isn’t going to happen, we become disappointed, for all the years we've wasted.

Another lil tote added to the baggage we already lug around.

What if we stop punishing ourselves for all the things we feel we didn’t do right?

Just let them go.

Sure some things might be heavy, hard to put down, but lugging them around has made no difference.

Obviously it's not an easy thing to do, or we would have.

For example I thought I had moved past a particular situation, however recently I realised I was still carrying resentment.

There are times we choose to stay in situations, because they aren't actually toxic, but there are things that have happened that really hurt. We work through them to the best of our ability, and with time they hurt less, and we move forward. Yet given the right set of circumstances those hurts revisit.

Maybe we just have to move forward as best we can and accept that old hurts are going to resurface. Acknowledge that even though we let go, to the very best of our emotional ability, it is ok if we need to acknowledge the odd pang of resentment, and even readdress it if necessary. We can still let it go, but the words don't have to be so literal, so final. We add a lil caveat, allowing us to acknowledge necessary feelings, without guilt.

I can’t tell you how many times an older person gave me advice about how fast time passes, and I never really heard them. It always seemed like I had my whole life ahead of me.

But here I am, on the other side of youth, the side where the years actually rack up faster.

The side where there is a lot to look back on and a lot to judge yourself - and others for.

But it is also a time when you realise that there are a lot of things that can’t change. To quote that pesky saying, ‘it is what it is’ well it actually is.  And if it’s been that way for a long while, it’s probably not going to change.

Accept this is your life and really start appreciating it.

Footnote:

28th November 2023

I'm still thinking about this blog, trying to realistically come terms with ruminating on situations and thoughts that should be let go.

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