I forgot about gratitude…

Rutville. I was there recently. On reflection, I think I was there for some time. It's not a pleasant place, it clouds everything.

I had a little epiphany about how I got there. I let all the negatives add up. There they mounted in a neat little pile.

With each addition I slipped a little further into the dark well of gloom and doom. I'm sure there were positives along the way, but I'd descended so far that I could no longer see the light.

The stepping stones were clear. Worsening health issues, relationship woes, moving house (change is not my friend), plus the little trolley of emotional baggage that gathers dust in a quiet corner. And let's not forget the fact that the world is now a different place. The last few years have really highlighted just how ruthless society can be.

I'm older now as well, so my bounce back game isn't what it use to be.

I was dwelling on circumstances that were mostly out of my control.

It's not like I hadn't visited before. But this time was a lil different. I forgot to be grateful for all that I did have. Instead I was just wallowing in a gratitudeless pit.

Being in that state of mind brings with it more emotions than are necessary. It's as though one emotion invites another, until eventually you don't even know what it is that you are really feeling.

I don't really know what changed , but I genuinely feel like I can see clearly again. The issues are still there, but they take up much less space and spirit.

Maybe I just had to reset.

To rekindle the things that once so easily evoked awe and boundless gratitude.

To ground myself with simplicity and appreciate the preciousness of life again.