To fill in the blanks or not…

Why is it that every time I try to explain something, I feel the need to go into the whole backstory?

It’s like I can’t just tell the story as it is. I have to explain how I got there, what led up to it, what I was thinking, what I was trying to survive. I find myself over explaining, almost pleading for people to understand that there was a reason behind my choices. Even the messy ones.

Maybe that’s why some of us overshare.

Because on the surface, some of the things we did… they don’t look so good. They might come across as impulsive, naive, or even self destructive. But if someone really knew what was happening behind the scenes, if they knew the full context, they might not be so quick to judge. They might even say, ‘I’d have done the same.’

It’s exhausting though, always feeling the need to justify your life. Always trying to make your pain make sense to someone else.

But here’s the thing I’m learning, we don’t owe everyone the full story.

Yes, the backstory matters, but not everyone needs access to it. The people who truly care won’t demand a full breakdown before offering empathy. They’ll listen without needing a defence. They’ll trust that you had your reasons, even if they don’t know them all.

So maybe it’s okay to hold the backstory close sometimes.

To simply say, ‘This is where I am,’ and let that be enough.