Pick a path…

“Empathy burnout is a real thing

After so many years of putting other people first, overpouring, overgiving, people-pleasing, trytig to une stand people's

reasons for hurting you, and now you're exhausted, drained, and indifferent. So, when people try to return after treating you badly, you just genuinely no longer care.” Unknown.

Interesting that I came across this quote today after my last blog protesting the collective lack of universal empathy.

Yet, empathy burnout is exactly where I’m at, and at the same time lack of empathy existentially derails me.

I remember in the early stages of my relationship with my partner, he was having some issues and I gave him a black and white solution. He saw it as a cold response. I was hurt that he saw me in that light. It felt like a bit of a slap, I wanted him to know the soft me, compassionate me, vulnerable me, why didn’t he see her?

It wasn’t that I was lacking empathy, it was that I saw the bigger picture, in fact I had seen similar dysfunction many times. So for that reason I was able to be pragmatic about the situation. I knew the dangers of shades of gray.

Fortunately he was a lil behind me in the getting fucked over stakes, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I’m a strong believer in people living their experiences and coming to their own realisations and conclusions. Things have to pan out from a personal perspective, a perspective that suits your own values. It’s the only way to grow. God knows it took me long enough to realise my lessons.

Once upon a time a struggling person was like an invitation to be some type of saviour, (the arrogance 😕). But now I see red flags. It’s not that I wouldn’t help, I just know that more often than not, they are usually struggling because of their own toxic behaviours, behaviours that they are not ready to address. So I don’t actively get involved in anything I don’t have to. I would expect that this might be a fairly common viewpoint given the state of the world.

Having said that I still have an emphatic heart, so being a bystander to lack of compassion and empathy can still be deeply disconcerting.

I think it’s perfectly possible to be indifferent and emphatic at the same time. As conflicting as that might sound, it might just be the only thing that makes sense.