Low grade hostility…

One of the most exhausting things about certain dynamics is not even the behaviour itself, it’s the role you slowly get cast into because of it.

The difficult one, the sensitive one, the one who ‘takes things the wrong way.’

Meanwhile, internally, you’re thinking… I’m literally just trying to exist peacefully.

Sometimes all it takes is a boundary, a simple one, something reasonable. Something connected to your wellbeing, your comfort, your health, your peace. And instead of it being accepted for what it is, it becomes personalised.

Then comes the tension, the little digs, the passive aggression, the subtle comments that are easy enough to deny but impossible not to feel.

And what makes it harder is when you’re not actually trying to fight with anyone. You don’t want drama. You don’t want people estranged from each other. You don’t want to spend your life in conflict.

You just want basic respect.

But over time, constantly being on the receiving end of those small undercurrents slowly chips away at you. And it’s not because you’re weak, but because we’re not built to comfortably sit in low grade hostility forever.

It’s hard not to let it get under your skin. We’re not holding onto it because we’re trying to create problems, but because there’s never any clean place for the discomfort to go.

And it’s even harder learning not to turn other people’s resentment, discomfort, or emotional immaturity into a story about who you are.

Because sometimes you were never ‘the problem’.

You were just the person who finally stopped pretending the dynamic felt okay.

14th May 2026

Artwork by Constance Mury.

This also felt valid…