7 years…

Seven years since I turned my life upside down. Well it was probably longer than that, four years prior to that the unravelling began. At some point it was probably always going to happen, and long overdue. But a couple of months prior to my starting my page I was at my lowest, it had all come to a head. I was consumed with grief and sadness. In hindsight it was a necessity. There were so many things I had never really grieved. I was totally shattered, alone, and there was no one to share my despair. I turned inwards, my writing became my confidant. I wanted to express my emotions, but not to anyone in particular, I just needed to get them out, to be heard. Not necessarily responded to, just heard. So I told the world, albeit anonymously, it wasn’t about anyone knowing who I was, that’s pretty much insignificant, because I could have been anyone on my page. We’ve all suffered some type of injustice, loss, pain, heartache… So in strangers I found the incentive I needed to continue. To get through those days where I was consumed, trapped inside my grief. I remember it as though it were yesterday, yet at the same time it’s a distant memory that I keep at arm’s length.

I was so very fortunate in that my life did change for the better. I lost a great deal, but I gained what I needed to heal. Now my life is very simple, peaceful and fulfilled. And my page is just as important to me as the day I started it. It’s grown with me, evolved and just a part of my life. I never know from on day to the next if it will be there tomorrow, all the theatrics of fb, but for now it’s there and for me that’s comforting.